Sick as in ill.

In other words, not healthy.

The sickness itself is Systemic Lupus Erythematosus, otherwise known as SLE or sometimes just by Lupus. The veganism has been part of my life since August 2009. (Yes, it is such a big deal to me that I know the date I became vegan.) The blog was created out of need for me to have a space in which I could be both a vegan and chronically ill.

Let me explain.

SLE is a chronic disease with no cure. There are few treatment options and there has been little advancement in options in decades. The disease is tempermental and individualistic so what may work for one person at a given time may not work for another person or even that same person later on down the road. It is remittant, meaning that for periods of time the person will not have symptoms, or will only have mild ones; for other periods of time, the symptoms will manifest sometimes to the point of being disabling or life-threatening. (Periods of symptom manifestation are called flare-ups.) The more disabling and life-threatening symptoms, like arthritis or kidney failure, are frequently invisible to everyone except lab technicians, doctors, and the lupus patient. Medication and self-care can help limit flare-ups... or not. Tempermental. And there's no cure.

I'll repeat that: SLE is a chronic disease WITH NO CURE.

So not only am I sick, there is no cure for my sickness. This means at no point in my future will I be "healthy." I will always be "sick." Sometimes I may not look sick. Sometimes I may not even feel sick but I will always be sick.

What does this have to do with being vegan and needing a safe space?

Because more often than not activists pull out the health card to draw in new vegetarians and vegans. See the Engine 2 Diet. Or Christine Pirello. Or PETA. Or Dean Ornish. Or Dr. Saunders. Possibly also Skinny Bitch. (I admit I haven't read the last one but it sounds like it could be on the list.) I subscribe to a newsletter that sends me, almost weekly, news items about the health benefits of becoming/being vegan. It is practically touted as a miracle cure.
If veganism is the end all be all of health, how come I'm still sick?

I'm still sick because veganism is NOT the end all be all of health. Veganism is not some miracle that will cure everything that ails you. It sure didn't cure my Lupus, nor did it even make any difference to my symptoms or how often I have them or to my test results. I see no health benefits. In pushing this snake oil propaganda, activists are blatantly ignoring disability and real chronic illness. Guess what activists? You are officially ableist. They're offically an entire square on disability bingo. Go you, engaging in a lifestyle specifically designed around compassion while all the time making a lot of people feel horrible about themselves! Because that's what happens.

You can cure yourself if you just try harder (become vegan). It's your fault if you are sick because we have told you how to make yourself healthy. Being sick is all your fault. If you're still sick, it's still all your fault because you're doing it wrong.

Lupus has no known cause and no cure. There is nothing I can do that will make it go away or even necessarily help me feel better. There is no blame that can be shoved off on me, anyone, or anything else. Not all vegans are healthy. Not all sick people can cure themselves through veganism.

Not all sick vegans think it is okay for the movement to make us feel bad.

Some of us aren't going to take it anymore.